totally fappable.: Archive

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Lessons Learned in 2009, Goals for 2010

As I prepare to bring in 2010 as wasted as I possibly can, I took a minute to reflect back on 2009. 2009 pretty much sucked. It was a year full of tragedy, bad luck, and dump trucks. However, now that I look back on all of it, it was a year full of learning lessons; lessons that could have only been learned the hard way. Despite the fact that I post Pedobear memes and pictures of whale dicks, I...

Jan 1st

Dec 31st

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Dec 31st

Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 28th

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Dec 28th

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Dec 28th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

Dec 26th

Dec 25th

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Dec 24th

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Dec 24th

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Dec 24th

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Dec 23rd

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I Did It All For The Snooki

Hey Tumblrs, can I borrow $2,000? Now that everyone’s favorite guidette from MTV’s Jersey Shore has lost her job as a receptionist, you can “rent” her for $2,000, plus transportation costs. It’s the perfect last minute Christmas present. It’s also the perfect time to execute my plan to clone her and make my own little Oompa Loompa Guido Army.

Dec 23rd

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Cincinnati among most literate U.S. cities

Thanks to a combination of library resources, the number of bookstores, educational attainment and other factors, Cincinnati is the ninth most literate city in the United States, ranking just below Boston and ahead of No. 10 Denver. The No. 9 ranking is the highest for Cincinnati in the study by Central Connecticut State University since its seventh-place finish in 2006. Cincinnati was tied for...

Dec 23rd

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"I bet you dollars to donuts..."

There are a lot of sayings that I hear on a daily basis that I really don’t understand. Like “Josh, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Oh yeah? Why not? What else am I supposed to do with the cake in that instance? “I bet you dollars to donuts” has got to be the one that frustrates me the most. Whenever it’s used (which is a lot here lately)...

Dec 22nd

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Dec 22nd

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Dec 22nd

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Dec 22nd

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Dec 22nd

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Dec 22nd

Dec 21st

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These Kids Today...

That has got to be one of the top 2-3 weirdest things that I’ve read today… Tennessee Boy, 4, Found Near Home With Stolen Presents, Drinking Beer Tennessee investigators say a 4-year-old boy was found roaming his neighborhood in the night, drinking beer and wearing a little girl’s dress taken from under a neighbor’s Christmas tree. The child’s mother, 21-year-old...

Dec 21st

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Disturbing Things My Boss Has Said: Part 18

 This is basically what I have to deal with every day.
Me: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Boss: Can I go with you?
Me: No.
Boss: Can I hold it for you?
Me: No.
Boss: Can I shake it for you?
Me: No.

Dec 21st

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